I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Michael Bay diarrhea
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
This can only be settled by a dance off.
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