i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
