Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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