Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Randomize
