Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
grandma shit on top of the toilet
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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