all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
