he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Randomize
