I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
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