My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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