My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Randomize
