3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
fuck your aforementioned shoe
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
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