I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
