You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
