There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
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