Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
