I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
