How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
