Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
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