I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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