Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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