So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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