My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize