Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
