So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
