Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Randomize
