he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Maybe he injected his testicle?
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Randomize
