Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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