I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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