We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
