i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
