I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
