no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize