Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
