Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I'm sobbing to NWA
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
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