Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
The adults are the big ones right?
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
