My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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