Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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