doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize