Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
Duck Duck Cougar?
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
