Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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