You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize