OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
she smelled like a LAN party
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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