Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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