similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Randomize
