I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize