my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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