White coat. Heels.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize