I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
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