I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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