dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
