She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
i drank out of a bidet.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
