I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
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