I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
