Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize