Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Randomize
