i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
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