I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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