White coat. Heels.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
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