At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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