After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
