you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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