I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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