This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
