It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
