If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize
