Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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