At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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