If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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