Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
