I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I just forgot I was standing up.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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