The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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