There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
